BAR FIGHT!!!

Bruh, I was looking forward to this topic.  Three days of mulling over ideas and banger one liners after publishing the report on Nolen’s Place. I was gonna bust in here and just rake.  No one was gonna be off the table. From the Mayor, who tried to hide numbers from the aldermen, right down to the aldermen using Facebook to communicate and lobby about an ongoing issue with each other.

When I sat down with the owner of Nolen’s Place, he wasn’t mad.  Dude walked me through what he went through as a business owner in a police report fashion.  After all, he’s a retired Hollywood detective who spent years hunting down a murderer.  This hunt dragged him to Nashville, and he decided to move here and start a new chapter in his life after catching the bad guy. So after a lifelong commitment to helping people, he opened up a restaurant in Nolensville.

He made one critical mistake though.  He thought he could have it all. He opened up a restaurant in our precious little town and thought he could serve beer according to the demand.  Who the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks did he think we were? Franklin? Brentwood? Did he forget that we are Nolensville? Top 10 best place to live in, as ranked by websites that get less traffic than this one. We don’t want beer here. We hate the idea of having a bar. Watch your stupid little football game and drink your awful cold beers at home. We are a family town, and if you don’t agree, then screw you, we will just regulate you to our way of thinking.

I have about 12 more paragraphs in my draft file just like that last one. Dude I was ready to go.  Nothing, and I mean nothing, gets under my skin more than when elected officials try to tell me whats moral and good. The person who should be dealing with government devices being destroyed (aka stolen) under his watch, or prepping for a sexual discrimination lawsuit that took place under his watch, is out there running around telling me that family men and women shouldn’t want a bar in Nolensville, or a mixed use development, or a fulfilled FOIA request. These jokes write themselves, except this weekend I finally stopped laughing.

You see, my friends stopped in to spend the night on their way back home to Chicago from Destin. We haven’t seen these friends in over a year, so we were pretty stoked about not only seeing them but showing them our new hometown.

THEY LOVED IT. So much so that they put Nolensville on top of their list of places they want to run away to. They are from Illinois, hence the “run away” phrase. He is a union electrician and she works for a non profit helping teen moms.  With two cute as can be kids, they make the perfect young family.

After the kids all went to bed, we stayed up talking and drinking. Yeah, I said drinking. Just a bunch of regular little sinners we are. Don’t tell anyone that I drink beer, because sometimes I don’t hit 65% either. We talked about our lives, our kids, and our town. Eventually the convo led to The Nolensville Insider. Naturally, we talked crap about the town issues for a good hour.  In the midst of heavy laughter, my buddy looked at me, looked at my wife, and asked “So why the hell would we want to move here with all these problems?”

Great question, unnamed buddy from Chicago.  You want to move here because it is the greatest town to raise a family in.  It has a great school district, low property taxes, and even though it’s growing, you can’t go anywhere without running into a friendly face. Nolensville is the type of place where you wave at strangers, say hello to people you never met, and most of the time, you stop on the dime so a poor soul trying to make a left turn on Nolensville Rd can cut in front of you.

Yes, our roads suck.  Yes, our mayor treats us like we’re pre-teens.  Yes, dealing with every issue is like pulling teeth from a bull’s mouth.  Every time you bring up a problem, there’s always some chick from Brentwood ready to pounce.  And let’s not forget her trusty little sidekick who has never heard her make a point he couldn’t double down on.  All these issues are going to get fixed.  Most won’t happen in a timely fashion.  Most will require heavy public involvement.  But guess what?  That’s what Nolensville is.  Nolensville is full of people that care.  Nolensville is full of people that will make sure their neighbors, their friends, and their kids will have a better Nolensville.

I love it when people blame others for bringing up issues.  We’re called drunkards for trying to get rid of the 65% beer ordinance.  We’re called petty when we try to get to the bottom of  a sexual discrimination lawsuit.  We’re called wasteful when we try to make a FOIA requests.  We’re called impatient when we want a light at a dangerous intersection, after 6 years of discussion.  We’re called bad drivers when we get a flat tire driving home from work.  If you’re going to lump me into a group and label us as negative Nancies, the 8-12 better get a statue when we get a light at York, when our streets are paved, and when beer is flowing down Main St.

 

In Nolensville, we care about our families.  We don’t need a stupid beer ordinance to help us stay that way. All the towns around us have a public nuisance law that will get rid of a bar that isn’t performing up to the residents’ standards. But for some reason, our local government doesn’t trust us to know what’s good for us.  So they decided to help us know what we want and need, even if it means that we have to fudge a number here and there. The beer ordinance doesn’t help us to be a family friendly town, but it will stop some friendly families from even considering us as an option.

Go on, ask me to prove it to you.  I’m begging you, please ask the local blogger for his take so you can try to stump him.  Well, Franklin and Brentwood don’t have a food percentage tied to their beer sales. None. You can open up the dirtiest, drunkest, and sketchiest bar in those places. I hope no one finds out about it because their home prices will plummet and they will be the next Antioch. Next thing you know, everyone in Wilco expect for Nolo will be ran by single drunk old dudes who do nothing but watch horrible UT football and drink crappy light beer. Thank goodness we will be spared.

I’m a “leave me alone, I got this” type of fella. Do your job and I’ll do mine. You fix the roads and provide public safety, and I’ll handle the living my life parts. I don’t need you telling me if bars are good or bad. If a bar opens up, let the market decide if it’s good or bad. If I choose to drink a beer and skip the burger, I don’t want to feel like crap for doing a misdeed to the restaurant owner.

Funding our infrastructure needs and public safety needs are two things you suck so bad at that it causes an hour long joke fest in my house. Handle those before you try to tell me what’s best for me.

 

-The Insider

 

BTW, I am waiting on a response from Town Hall regarding the legalities of two alderman and the mayor communicating on Facebook about issues related to an upcoming public hearing.  Once I hear back, I will write a more detailed analytical opinion on the Nolen’s Place report that we recently published.