Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

What an interesting weekend did I just have. Overall it was a decent enough weekend,  except for the oldest minion being sick. Bummer, it sucks when one of the kids is sick. Everyone is walking on eggshells wondering if they will fall victim next while my wife thinks that her essential oil starter kit can end world hunger, provide world peace, and make Kanye West coherent again. In other news, the youngest minion turns one this week and guess what? My little dude just took his first steps. They might have been wobbly and awkward but I will remember those first steps when he’s dunking on people in the NBA all star games. GO BULLS!!!

My sweet little diary, I do not write in you much, only when I need therapy. Due to my cheap nature, I turn to you for some clarity. You have been here for me for three months now, patiently correcting my grammar and spelling with the tiny red squiggly lines. I’m turning to you again because I need to talk some stuff out.  Bear with me my dear, while I think out loud.

I made a goof, and hit publish too fast. Logged off to enjoy my day while the world around me got lit. Once my phone started to melt from the notifications coming in, I realized the mistake and corrected the wrong. Who would have thought that a personal blog could tear up the news world so fast and hard? I’m just glad Mary Casat didn’t join in on the beatings.  I guess the A team didn’t need her this time around. Maybe Dick Ballsanga or Andrea Lake were keeping her busy somewhere else.

On that note, dear diary, I do feel bad. I understand how mad the mayor must feel. It’s probably like that one time he told my wife that her opinions were nonsense and then went on to lie about the budget for a few weeks. I need to figure out a way to apologize to him, I know the feeling he’s having and I don’t wish that on anybody.

Dear Diary, that one lady came back.  I thought she was gone for good once she deleted hundreds of her comments from the Insider facebooklet thingy majiggy. She’s as funny as always, and I love the free publicity that lady provides for me. I wonder if she still wants to hold my baby? I have been advised to ban her from my page, but I won’t just yet.  She hasn’t gone off the deep end like that alderman’s wife did on my page this weekend.  It’s going to be awkward at the next BOMA meeting when I have to look him in the eye, knowing his wife was only the second person to get banned from my page.

Dear Diary, I’m having trouble conveying the message that I run a blog.  Some people want to hold me to Wall Street Journal standards, just to tear me down.  Don’t get me wrong, Diary, I love the attention.  But the fake shade is getting kind of old.  I remember making my Facebook page and taking a few minutes to think through what category of page to choose.  The fact that my Facebook Page states that it is Entertainment was calculated and honest.  I mean there is a dude no longer in office that still has an alderman page up to break town news.  Scratch that.  RIP.

Dear Diary, speaking of fake shade, I think I’m going to apply for the MTV series Catfish. There was a guy that hinted he had dirt on town officials and he was trying to sell it.  I reached out but he never got back to me.  End of story, right? Nooo, now there’s a screenshot floating around of me asking to pay for dirt.  I really do feel like I’d be a good candidate for the Catfish show now.  I got lured under false pretenses and then ignored like a cheap piece of meat.  If you’re going to yank my chain, at least acknowledge me and pretend you think I’m pretty.  This one I’m probably reaching on.  After all, I’ve been in a bad mood because of the Cubs this year.

Dear Diary, I also need to find a way to turn down dinner, drink, and coffee invites.  It’s kind of weird.  All the people that don’t like me keep inviting me out.  Like bro, we both know you don’t like me.  Chill.  Maybe I can use the good old “it’s not you, it’s me”.  It worked great in middle school.  Fingers crossed.

Dear Diary, I do get upset by one thing.  And this is a secret between you and me – can’t let these fools know what’s bothering me.  But I do get annoyed when I, the most apolitical person that I know, the guy that hates politics the most, and refuses to play them, keeps ending up in all the petty political battles in town.  Here’s a thought, how about we discuss the issues instead of jockey for those we want to elect or recall. You like someone’s idea?  Go ahead and click “like” instead of worrying about if someone else will frown on you for liking that person’s post.

Dear Diary, I really have to get focused here again.  There is so much stuff to get through still.  I talked to a buddy of mine that’s an engineer.  When I told him our town engineer doesn’t have a digital copy of the Sunset Project, boy we had a good laugh.  I have to press on Don, because I need those plans.  I want to look them over.  I want to find out why we aren’t adding a right hand turn lane from Nolensville Rd to Sunset Rd.  After all, we are paying millions and millions of dollars for the Sunset Rd. project.

Also, there’s the whole Ken thing.  I feel like I have been dropping the ball here.  The guy is listed in a lawsuit, destroyed his devices, and left town.  If you talk to Jimmy or Tommy, that was the worst hire they ever made.  Ken’s been on my to do list for a long time.  I really gotta get on my A game and figure out what happened there.

Speaking of getting focused, I have a few open FOIA requests.  There’s one for past employee paystubs, and another for Ken’s emails while in office.  Plus I have to make some new requests.

Dear diary, please remind me to write a feel good blog.  I’ve been mulling over this idea for a while.  I need to let the town folk know that jumping in on these self proclaimed “sides” is idiotic.  If you agree with someone 100% then you are either not listening or you are the dullest knife in town.  Nobody agrees with somebody 100% of the time and that’s ok.  Have you seen court dockets?  They’re full of people that disagreed.  Have you seen any sort of online forum?  Nobody agrees with anybody.  The hottest show on ESPN is two guys arguing with each other, on purpose.  Wanna know why? Because it’s relatable. Even in my marriage – I love my wife dearly, she’s the hottest person I ever met, and way smarter than I thought any human could be – and I still find things that I think she’s wrong about…  Probably won’t publish that blog though, because it would include the words BOMA and mayor, and the last thing I want is to be called negative again.

Thanks for letting me vent, my sweet little diary.  This was exactly what I needed to get refocused, refreshed, and ready to have a Gucci week.  I’m going to take the rest of the evening off and try to figure out what the best way is to convey the message that I’m writing a personal blog, tied into a personal facebook page, that features my personal opinions.  Who knows, maybe I’ll shut everything down and live out my days in peace, laziness, and a good, cold beer.  Psyche.  That’s not happening.

Always with love,

-The Insider